when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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