Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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