you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
