Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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