Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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