He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
