I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
