Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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