I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
