he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
