So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize