plz talk dirty to me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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