He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize