so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
