you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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