Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
