Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize