i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
