It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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