i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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