Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
