3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
