I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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