If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ttyl tear gas
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
