I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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