I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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