did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
sex in a hospital.. check
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize