i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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