My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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