Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
