did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
