I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
