Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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