I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
