I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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