There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
