Your mouth is God's brothel.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
