I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
