do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
