I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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