The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
