i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
