I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
