What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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