I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize