woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
