you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
