can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just cropdusted the office
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I need moral support for this bender
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
