I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
