I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
