whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
