Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
