For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
