Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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