it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize