that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
