Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize