i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
