butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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