I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
