Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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