I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
