we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
