True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she told me i tasted like america
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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