I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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