I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The struggles of a small town man whore
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
