when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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