He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
