The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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