Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize