i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hippo gnu deer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
