Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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