dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
