I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Me too!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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