Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
