why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm too high and old for this...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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