So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
